When I learned I was pregnant with my son I was less than enthusiastic about having a boy. I didn’t know the first thing about raising one and I was admittedly scared. Giving birth to him was far easier than my daughter’s delivery and when I held him for the first time my heart melted away any lingering fears.
In a matter of days though he developed colic and his piercing cries that resulted from it made me wonder at times if it was merely a prelude to the challenges that would come with raising a boy. If there was a challenge though, nothing was going to curb his dad’s enthusiasm over having a son to carry on the family name. He couldn’t wait to teach him how to throw a ball, coach him in baseball and watch sporting events together. Sometimes they butted heads but mostly they just hung out and grew to rely on each other the way a father and son do.
His dad’s death has left a void that I can never replace but will need to fill in ways I never had to before. It’s scary. He’s on the brink of becoming a teenager and I have no doubt that’s going to usher in a new set of challenges I didn’t face with my daughter. Thank goodness my husband has raised a son of his own so I will at least have his solid support from an experienced shoulder to lean on. For now though, my son and I are learning to adapt to each other in ways we didn’t have to before. He’s getting used to having mom around and I’m getting used to running him around.
Last week we made a mom-son trip to Sedona with my best friend from college and her son, who visited from Maryland. I took him school shopping for clothes and shoes which served as a good reminder that I have much to learn about what’s “cool” to wear at his age. In one day I took him from an orthodontist appointment to baseball practice for an hour to a doctor’s appointment to baseball training and then another doctor appointment. We got home at 6:30 that night and I was so beat I went straight to bed! This week he begins a new school. Next week I move my daughter to college. We are family full of new beginnings and new challenges and being there for my son will be my most important one yet.